Rei's sick
by khooxp
Summary: Rei got sick. The others are going out, so they can't take care of him. So, who does? Tala. That's right, Tala. Will Tala actually make him better? Or worse? Read to find out! A one-shot, full of humor xD Tala reads a story with weird characters we know..


XP: Hey guys. This took me unexpectedly long to write. I hope you like it. (: This is a one-shot, about Rei getting sick and Tala taking care of him... using laughter as the best medicine :D

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:X:

"Please? I have to accompany Max, Tyson, Daichi, Kenny and Hilary to Disneyland. They have 6 tickets, but Rei can't go. As much as I'd rather not go, those guys can get lost in their own garden, and will starve to death. Well, Tyson and Daichi anyway, and the others will die from hearing him whine," Kai pleaded slightly.

"...Kai. Of all people to ask, you ask me? ...Have you finally snapped and gone crazy?" Tala asked incredulously.

"Well, no, but I trust you to not kill Rei, which Bryan might do. And you know Spencer has to be in the house or the people left there is gonna have an epic war where the house will be blown to itty bitty pieces," Kai sighed.

"...I can't refuse, can I?"

"Nope. You're too nice to anyway. You can't leave a sick person alone," Kai smirked.

"That's _Spencer_. You're talking about _Spencer_, not me," Tala retorted.

"Tala! Please. I'll bring you back a souvenir. Besides, Rei's not that bad. You can actually hold a decent conversation with him unlike the rest. Come onnnn," Kai tried to convince Tala.

"...I can't believe I'm considering this," Tala sighed.

"Thank you, Tala," Kai smiled slightly. "Come on, it won't be that bad."

"Taking care of people is not my expertise. I'd rather beat them up," Tala growled.

"But you take care of me when I'm sick," Kai deadpanned.

"That's different, you're Kai. You won't let anyone near you when you're sick except for me," Tala rolled his eyes.

"...Thank you! Byebye! I'll call!" Kai escaped quickly, not wanting to argue anymore. Speaking too much was not good for his throat afterall.

"Wait! Stupid Kai..." Tala mumbled under his breath.

* * *

Rei woke up, feeling like shit. Every part of him ached. He blinked blearily, someone was putting a cool towel on his head. He turned slightly and his eyes slowly focused on Tala.

_Tala... ... ... TALA? _Ouch, his head hurt._ What time was it...?_ He turned and looked at the clock. _Hell, 12pm._

"Welcome back to the land of living," Tala said softly, his tone surprising soothing to Rei's head. "How do you feel?"

"Er, like...shit," Ray rasped hoarsely.

Tala sighed, and helped Ray to sit up. He pressed a glass of water to Rei's lips. "Drink it all. Well, of course, you have a awesome fever of 39.3 degrees celsius. Be thankful the brat-pack isn't here." Ray drank it with some difficulty. "So, how the heck did you get so sick?"

"...Got caught in the rain... Blame Tyson..." Ray said weakly. "So, uh, why are you here?"

"I'm your caretaker till you get better. What fun, right?" Tala said sarcastically, his voice still soft, mindful of Rei's headache. "So, I guess I'll stop speaking now, you have a headache."

"...No, don't stop..." Rei murmured, eyes closing again.

"Strangely, you say the same thing as Kai when he's sick," Tala mused. "Go back to sleep, kitty boy, I'm gonna go get you something to eat." Without a fight, Rei's eyes closed.

When they reopened, Tala settled a tray on the table beside the bed. It contained pills, a bowl of porridge, and a jug of water and a glass in case Rei needed to drink somemore water. Tala helped Rei to sit up again, fluffing the pillows. He took a spoonful and blew on it, before putting it on Rei's lips. Rei blushed, before eating it. It actually tasted pretty good.

At Rei's surprised expression, Tala chuckled. "Spencer taught me how to. When the Blitzkrieg boys get sick, usually it's two, three or even four people getting sick together, leaving one poor person to take care of em." Tala repeated the feeding process, before Rei shook his head, saying he was full. Tala nodded, pressing pills to Rei's lips this time. Rei opened his mouth and Tala threw them in, before putting a glass of water to Rei's lips again. Rei drank steadily. Rei felt really weak. He could barely lift his arms.

"So, what you wanna do? You don't seem sleepy now. You wanna watch some tv or something?" Tala asked, stroking Rei's messy hair which was not wrapped today. Tala seemed to be so caught up in his caretaking role that he didn't even pay attention to who it was that was sick. Perhaps he did this to Kai and Ian when they were sick too, Rei mused. Maybe even Bryan. But hell, Tala's fingers felt good. "Well, catboy?"

"...No cat names, Tala," Rei pouted. "...Well, read me a story." Rei secretly snickered in his mind. This was going to be interesting.

"Alright, fine." Tala started...

"Once upon a time, there was a guy named, uh, Bryan. Bryan was a very, very violent person, and he fought other violent gangsters everyday in the town. One day, however, there was a notice in town that caught his eyes. A notice for a million dollars reward, if they could save the princess which was kidnapped. This princess's name was, well, Kai. Since Bryan loved money, he went to King... Spencer, and told him he would take the job.

King Spencer had heard many many rumors about Bryan's strength, so he agreed with a hopeful heart. The Queen um, um, Tyson, laughed loudly and agreed, sending Bryan on his way with armors and weapons-"

"_Wait_, Queen _Tyson_? Princess _Kai_?" Rei asked incredulously.

"...Oh, shush or I'll make you the queen. Ahem, as well as a pony named Ian which had a big nose. Bryan started his trek into the forest into the evil people's lair. On his trek he met a sly cat named... Rei! The sly cat told Bryan that if he wanted to pass, he had to give something to Rei, called... a Max flower."

"I'm a cat again? And...A _Max Flower_?" Rei chuckled.

"Yes, a Max Flower in the shades of vibrant yellow and orange like the sun. So um, Bryan didn't listen. He fought the Rei cat. The Rei cat escaped, but had a lot of wounds on him. Bryan continued on his merry way, and found the Max flower Rei cat was talking about. And the Max Flower said in a squeaky voice, Ahem..." Tala cleared his throat.

'_You evil evil Bryan! You will receive retribution! How could you not bring me to Rei cat? He simply wants me to be at his side, but I can't walk!_' Tala said in a squeaky voice, causing Rei to giggle and let the cat comments slide. The story was too interesting to stop Tala. "But, Bryan simply laughed a '**MUAHAHAHA**!' and stomped on the Max Flower with his pony Ian."

"They continued on their journey again, only stopping when Bryan felt hungry. He spotted a Kenny-bunny, along with a Hilary-chicken and decided to kill it for lunch. 'Noooooo!' Kenny-bunny shrieked as Bryan slashed him with a blade. '_You assholeee_!' Hilary-chicken cried as Bryan slashed her with a blade. Bryan ate them raw, because, well, he's Bryan, and he continued his journey, riding on his horse Ian.

Soon, Ian-pony couldn't walk, because it turned out that Max Flower put glittery poison on his legs as a revenge for stomping on him. Bryan had no choice but to leave him and walk on my himself. Soon, he got close to the evil castle. There was a guard in front, named... _shit_, i used up too many characters, um, Dickenson! So, he boomed in a deep voice, '**Who goes there**?'. Bryan doesn't even bother, he simply kills Dickenson with a stab. Then a monkey named Daichi started to dangle from the ceiling!

Daichi-monkey laughed and dashed way, and Bryan followed him, because monkeys taste good. And uh, he came face to face with um, a troll named Boris, and a um, evil witch named Voltaire. So, Bryan took out his sword. Then he fought them the best he could. '**Clang! Clang! Oh shit no! Ahhhh the pain!**" Bryan fell. The two were too strong for him.

Then, a red-haired warrior appeared, named **Tala**!"

"Oh joy," Rei said, rolling his eyes, grinning.

"Ahem, on his shoulder was the Rei-cat, his loyal minion after Tala had nursed him back to health."

"I suppose you're hinting something now," Rei mused.

"...Maaaybe," Tala said slyly, before continuing, "He was here to take revenge against Bryan for hurting him and killing Max Flower! The Daichi-monkey decided to join in the fun. Coz, yeah, monkey see, monkey do. Tala overpowered the Witch Voltaire and the Troll Boris! He's so awesome that with a swift blow of his flaming sword, both of them fell in a strike! Tala immediately rushed up to the hidden room on the top of the castle, saving princess Kai."

"And Princess Kai said, '_Oh, my handsome red-haired savior, I love you_'," Tala mimicked Kai's voice perfectly. Rei laughed. "And so, Bryan was jailed, his journey was actually a secret ploy to defeat him, since he was the best fighter in the city, and no amount of army could win him. Tala and Kai lived happily ever after with Rei-cat as their servant. The end!"

"What the hell! Where do you come up with such stories!" Rei giggled.

"Well, strangely, Kai likes to hear nonsensical stories when he's delirious," Tala grinned. Then, suddenly Rei's eyes flung wide open as he held a hand to his mouth. Tala immediately put a bucket to his mouth and Rei puked. After Rei wiped his mouth, he laughed weakly, "Wow, you sure are prepared..."

"Duh," Tala rolled his eyes. "Alright, since I've read you a story like you asked, now it's time for you to go to bed."

"Aw, do I have to?" Rei pouted. Tala fixed him a steely look, but it was destroyed when he replaced the wet towel on his head. "Then will you sing me a song?" Rei asked, trying to get as much out of Tala as possible. This was a good opportunity, who knew how many quirks Tala had, besides his weird storytelling skills?

"Fine," Tala grinned. He took a deep breath, putting on a mockingly gentle look, singing, "_Soft kitty, warm kitty, little ball of fur~ Happy kitty, sleepy kitty, purr~purr~purr~_"

"Hey!" Rei pretended to frown. It actually amused him that Tala sang him a cat song. In such a soft tone.

"Uh-uh," Tala wagged his finger. "Kitty must sleep now." He pulled the blanket up to Rei's chin, tucking him in. "Come on." Rei reluctantly shut his eyes. Soon, hands started to massage his slightly sore head. Rei relaxed, and soon he fell into deep sleep.

* * *

It was almost evening when Rei woke up, and he saw Tala keeping vigil beside his bed, flipping through a book. Tala blinked, turning to look at Rei. "Oh, you're awake." He helped Rei seat up carefully, before pressing a cup of water to his lips again. Then he held a thermometer to Rei's mouth, which Rei opened obediently.

"Oh yay, 38.3 degrees celsius! You went down by a degree," Tala grinned. He then blinked at Rei's flushed face, and wondered why Rei was so silent.

"...Er, Tala... I need to go to the... bathroom..." Rei said awkwardly.

"Oh." Tala merely said, before the two lapsed into silence. "Hm. Well, can you stand?" Rei nodded, moving groggily down from his bed, wobbling as he stood. Tala maneuvered Rei's arm around his neck and put an arm around Rei's waist, supporting him. He brought him to the bathroom, where Rei flusteredly assured he's be fine alone. Tala agreed, but made him not lock the door.

"You'd better not peep," Rei growled jokingly.

"Pfft, you'd better not fall," Tala rolled his eyes.

Which Rei did, after a few minutes. "Ahh!" Tala rolled his eyes again, openly the door, smiling sweetly at a Rei which fell near the basin, with the tap still flowing. "Now what did I tell you, cat-boy? Hmm?" Tala reached over to screw the tap close, before bending down to pick Rei up bridal style, despite Rei's protests. He set Rei gently down on the bed, checking Rei for injuries. "Honestly, you're a stubborn as Kai when he's sick," Tala grumbled. Rei flushed unhappily.

"Back to sleep you go," Tala chided. "You need to sleep the fever off."

"I've had enough of sleeping," Rei mumbled sulkily. "It's not fair, I wanna go to disneyland too."

"I'm sure they'll bring you back a souvenir. And I'm sure you can guilt-trip the others to bring you with them and go a second time," Tala grinned. "Just put that kicked puppy look on and say 'I'm so sad that I got sick and couldn't go. I really really wanted to go to disneyland. I've never been there in my entire life, and I've always dreamt of going...' Then you cry unhappily and continue with a lot more crap."

"...You're a bad influence, Tala," Rei chuckled.

"...Alright, why don't we play a game," Tala suggested. "But, you must go sleep afterwards."

"Fine," Rei shrugged.

"...This is the play dead game. You pretend to be dead and-"

"Tala! A proper game!"

"Fine! Okay, so errr, okay. If Max was really the Max flower, what do you think he'd say when uhhh, he saw up Princess Kai's skirt?" Tala said randomly.

"Tala!" Rei shouted, surprised, blushing. Tala shrugged, grinning. "If you want to know, me and Kai played similar games when we're sick."

"The hell," Rei chuckled. "Max would turn red and say, 'Oh my holy sweet sugar! Such sexy black lace panties!"

"Or he might say, 'You need to wear brighter colors! I'm sure I can help with that!' Wink wink," Tala laughed.

"So, erm. What would Kenny-bunny say if he saw Monkey-Daichi naked?" Rei asked, scratching his head.

"Really, Rei?" Tala gave Rei a look before replying, "Well, he's blush and stutter and won't form coherent words."

"Suuure? You're sure he won't go, 'Yum, that sexy ass... OMG my gay tendencies are coming out!" Rei giggled.

"...I am now convinced you're on drugs. Hmmm, What would pony-Ian say if he wanted Hilary-chicken to become his?" Tala raised an eyebrow.

"Heeyyy, come here with your sweet little chicky ass," Rei suggested, winking.

"Fuck! I want you! But I can't have you! Arrgggghhhh!" Tala smirked. "...I'll eat you and we can become one!"

"Um, what would princess Kai say if Bryan appeared in her room late at night?" Rei grinned.

"Wellll, she would say, 'Oh my! The ruffian is in my room! Tala honey, come and save me!'" Tala shrieked in a high pitch tone.

"As if! Kai would glare at him and throw a lamp at his head!" Rei laughed. "Then she'd give Bryan a kiss before tossing him out of the window!"

Tala smiled patronizingly. "Alright Rei. One last question before you go to bed."

"...What if Tala decided he was homosexual and didn't want princess Kai?" Rei asked, smirking.

"Well, kitty-boy," Tala said huskily, leaning closer. "I'd elope with _Bryan_ and say 'I'd always had a thing for bad boys!'" Rei flushed at that. "Alright, kitty, sleep, now." Rei pouted, but obliged.

By the time he woke up again, the guys were home. Kai was touching his forehead. "...Good, no more fever." Rei groggily turned his head to look at Tala, who was sleeping beside him in a chair, resting his arms and head on the bed. Rei blinked up at Kai before snickering. He couldn't help it. He started to laugh.

"What?" Kai growled tiredly. Going to disneyland with Tyson and Max and trying to keep them out of trouble tired him out.

"Nothing, princess," Tala mumbled, waking up as well, rubbing his eyes tiredly.

"Yeah, princess," Rei grinned.

"...Oh fuck, Tala! Did you tell him your weird stories?" Kai hissed.

Before Tala could answer, Max came over, wondering what was wrong. "Pfft... hahahahaha! Max Flower! Princess Kai!" Rei laughed. And when he saw Kenny, Hilary, Daichi and Tyson too... "Kenny-bunny! With Daichi-monkey! Hilary chicken... Queen Tyson!" Rei guffawed, unable to stop. The others watched, confused.

"...I see you did," Kai deadpanned.

"Aw, Kai, you know you love em," Tala grinned, turning to Rei who couldn't stop laughing. "_Rei~ Boris in a pink tutu~_" Rei stopped laughing all of a sudden. Tala held up the bucket as Rei puked into it. Kai gave an exasperated sigh. "Come on guys, we brought back dinner. And souvenirs for Rei."

"...I'm so sad that I got sick and couldn't go. I really really wanted to go to disneyland. I've never been there in my entire life, and I've always dreamt of going..." Rei pouted, lower lip wobbling. His eyes glistened with unshed tears. "It's just not fair... I can't help getting sick. God hates us..." Tala smirked proudly, hearing Rei copy his words and advice.

"Oh,Rei..." Max said sadly. "Come on, we'll go another time, alright? I promise."

"Yeah, it wasn't as fun without you anyway," Tyson tried to soothe Rei.

"Yeah, Rei, it was different without you," Hilary admitted.

"Yay! Let's go another time!" Daichi cheered.

"Cheer up, Rei," Kenny smiled. Rei smiled too, wiping off his tears, "Thanks guys."

"...Tala..." Kai sighed.

"What? You were the one who told me to take care of Rei," Tala snickered, pulling out his phone. He checked his messages, before standing up. "Gotta go, Spencer wants me back for dinner."

"Aw, Tala, going already?" Rei sulked. Everyone stared at him disbelievingly, except Tala and Kai. Rei apparently became very good friends with Tala in the time they were together, and will miss his interesting conversations.

"Gotten attached to me already?" Tala laughed, ruffling Rei's messy hair. "Don't worry, I'll visit from time to time."

"...If I get sick again, I want you to take care of me again," Rei beamed. "Usually if I'm sick I need to recover for three days, but you made it go away in one!"

"Alright," Tala promised, eyes twinkling brightly. "Laughter is the best medicine, Rei. Bye Princess Kai, bye Rei, bye other brats," Tala smirked, before leaving quickly.

Rei smiled as the others fumed. Tala was an unexpectedly great caretaker.

:X:

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**XP: Thanks for reading guys. Tell me if you enjoyed it~! ;)**


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